Couple Therapy
“All that has been most obvious … will no longer be treated as self-evident; rather, the familiar is to be wondered about, to be puzzled over, to be newly created in the analytic setting.”
(Ogden, 1992)
Couple therapy can be a potent way for a couple to work through the difficulties they may be experiencing between themselves or even with others as a couple.
As individuals, we internalise our perceptions of ourselves, others, and the world, a process that starts in early childhood. These internalised experiences shape our self-perception and identity, as well as our approach to relationships. The attachment patterns that form in childhood determine our adult attachment styles, influencing how we perceive ourselves, our partners, and our romantic relationships in adult life. And, it is these internalised experiences of relationships that are the main focus of couple therapy.
If our early relationships were characterised by developmental or childhood trauma or felt unsafe or violating, these experiences may negatively affect our adult relationships, particularly romantic ones, and cause relationship issues for one or both members of the couple. The difficulties a couple experiences often stem from re-enacting these early experiences—often outside consciousness. This can lead to recurring negative patterns of interaction that may seem puzzling or frustrating, as the source of these patterns remains hidden.
In couple therapy, the focus on the unconscious experiences and patterns of interaction underlying the couple's issues. By bringing these into awareness, the couple can better understand what each partner brings to the relationship and enhance their capacity for intimacy. The awareness of internal conflicts, which are at the heart of the relationship issues, also provides a basis for their resolution.
Couple therapy provides a safe, controlled, and dedicated space for introspection and exploration where couples can unearth ingrained beliefs, emotions, and behaviours that may unconsciously influence their relationship dynamics. This heightened awareness not only promotes insight and provides an opportunity to address underlying issues constructively and collaboratively, but also allows each partner to change individually as a person.
Ultimately, focusing on unconscious experiences in couple therapy serves as a crucial gateway for partners to embark on a journey towards relational growth, emotional connection, and sustainable intimacy.
Related:
Couple Therapy Treatment Specifics
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Initial assessment of the couple’s presenting issues normally takes place in two to three separate 50-minute sessions. The focus of the assessment is on the couple’s functioning, how each of the members contributes to the interpersonal dynamics, the couple’s shared and individual history, and the couple’s goals within the treatment as well as generally in life.
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Couple therapy is conducted in weekly 50-minute sessions.